Distracted but can’t do nothing about it!

Earlier I mentioned that I was distracted by things. It isn’t just by things that are less boring than the studying that I’m supposed to be doing for exams. It is also that I am constantly thinking about what has gone on when I’m not focusing on anything else. I get stressed over everything being the way it is indefinitely and I can’t go to anyone or discuss it because no one can help me change it. I’m getting to the point where I cannot stand things being the way they are long term. Other people getting involved have just made the situation ten times worse. I’m going to fail my exams if things stay like this because I cannot cope with things as they are long term. I literally cannot go to anyone to help get things changed because no one is interested in how I feel or how it’s affecting me. This isn’t a choice. We can’t chose whether we are affected by things. I can’t concentrate on my work because I feel guilty about the past and am worrying about the other person involved. I also really need forgiveness before I can truly move on. I find no body else’s feedback helpful so I simply cannot discuss how I feel. I want the order taken off or it being put on a time limit rather than indefinite, but pushing the other person involved will only cause them to dig their heels in more. It is going to affect my grades because I’m not concentrating properly. I just want things sorted and all the time I’m getting stressed at it being the way that it is. I don’t want to upset anyone but it’s doing me no good. And, ever since the car crash (which made me fear the other person might have been involved) the other week I am now worried that something will happen to the other person and things will be left as they are. I don’t want to anger anyone else but I can’t carry on like this much longer. It is affecting me extremely badly at times. 


Author: Diary Of A Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. The blogger was labelled a criminal for the affects of her illness. Diary Of A Painfully Shy Introvert was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).