I’m too wound up to sleep.

I can’t sleep because I’m so wound up at this moment in time. I’m probably going to be failing my exam due to tiredness in a few hours time. This subject and everything that has happened is not doing me any good. I’m being constantly reminded of things that have hurt me.

I don’t see why I was so undeserving to be helped when I later find out that the other person that got me into trouble has helped everyone else. It isn’ fair. I am not the abuser. I retaliated to system abuse. These facts are going to continue to drive me mad because I can’ get answers to why I seem to be be so undeserving of help that I got treated and am continuing to be treated in the way that I have been. The other person has ruined my life and they can’t even see that. They make out that they’re so wonderful to others and that I deserved to be let down and treated awfully.

That isn’t the truth whatsoever. I’m beyond hurt by this issue. I am slowly being destroyed by it. They’ve only backed the system up in regards to the way they’ve always bullied me. I deserved to be believed and supported. I’m not an awful person at all and I wish that people could see that.


Author: Diary Of A Painfully Shy Introvert

A blog written by a female diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but suspected PDA in more recent years. The blogger was labelled a criminal for the affects of her illness. Diary Of A Painfully Shy Introvert was created to not only create awareness of the PDA part of the spectrum; but also to educate the public hopefully creating understanding in order to stop future generations being let down and labelled negatively. Disclaimer: There may be parts of this blog which viewers may find upsetting as it contains accounts of real life events which have been quite traumatic. However, it is all to help create a sense of understanding and combat the fear surrounding all aspects of mental illness and Pathological Avoidance Syndrome (a very little understood part of the autistic spectrum).